


No Take Backs, No Returns

by Kittenfightclub



Category: The Nice Guys (2016)
Genre: Asexuality, Established Relationship, M/M, Profanity, tries to joke in serious fic and fails miserably, v brief mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8263922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenfightclub/pseuds/Kittenfightclub
Summary: Jackson Healy was not a good person, but he didn’t think that pertained to his sexual drive -or lack thereof-





	

Jackson Healy didn’t think that he deserved what he was given, but that damn well didnt mean that he wasn’t going to have it. He worked hard for everything he had in life, he had a price and he wouldn’t accept anything less. He needed to live, he needed to get paid; doing things for free wasn’t gonna pay his bills, helping people just for the sake of it was an absurd thought that he had _only maybe_ once desired.   
  
Anyone who gave him something without naming a price, well, they were a liar or a thief one, and there was no way that he was gonna do anything for them. You give Jackson Healy a gift, it a gift, good and simple. No take backs, no returns.   
  
Whenever Holland would lean over and kiss him on the cheek, that wasn’t a gift, the man would one day want something in return for that. He saw the way that he looked at the women in the strip clubs and the woman in the mansions and in the _pools_ . Beautiful women sure, Healy could agree with that, but he didn’t find them attractive as March did. He didn’t admire the curves in their hips or the bat of their eyes or their lips sipping from delicate glasses as much as he desired to see the blood drip from whatever assholes face was next in his peripheral. Jackson Healy was not a good person, but he didn’t think that pertained to his sexual drive -or lack thereof-   
  
Whenever Holland would kiss him he would shiver and shudder and love it but he dreaded the day when he would be asked for something more, when he would be expected to _give_ more than kisses. When Holland March would require a caress more firm than the touch of thick fingers against a cheek and more loving than gentle presses of lips.   
  
Healy could live with the kisses, he would cherish them and desire them still each day; March was not the same.   
  
“Fuck me,” Holland March said one night and Healy replied with a brusque:   
  
“I wouldn’t want you to scream like a girl, I get enough of your whining.”   
  
It wasn’t March who would be scared, that party would be Jackson himself. He would never admit to it though, even in the heat of the moment, not if he could help it.   
  
“Cmon, _Healy_ ,” he whined and it pierced the man like a knife and he whimpered, Healy did, _goddamnit_ , and March shut up, immediately silent with concern. As much as the man was sex driven and outright _rude_ sometimes, it was easy for Healy to remember why he loved him. Loved him, yeah, he really did.   
  
“I don’t think you could… I don’t think you could take it,” he murmured, trying to joke, but March was past that. Already sitting up and coming forward with concern in his eyes and sweat on his brow. He was still hot with desire, so hot and yeah, it mattered, but Healy mattered more and it was obvious that something was wrong.   
  
“Shit. _Shit. SHIT. Healy_ what’d I do?” he was almost crawling forward now and Jackson Healy didn’t know how to respond, he didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t intimidating in the least, it was kind and sweet and Healy forced a smile even if only to say ‘I love you, I’m okay.”   
  
It was all he had, his work, and sometimes he wished that he weren’t so damn useless, that he could _feel_ those things that other people feel. That he wasn’t so fucking useless, but he knew that it wasn’t something he was in control of, it wasn’t something that he could change.   
  
He had never felt that fire that he could smell -and it was ironic and stupid that March couldn’t even smell it on himself- on the man and he wished that he could. He wished that he was comfortable giving him this. For a while he had imagined that he could, that he could give this and feel nothing and it’d be fine but he thought it over and no, it wouldn’t be fine. March would know and everything would change.   
That was what scared him, _ha!_ nothing scared him he always said to Holly. What scared him was that March would learn this about him and he wouldn’t understand. He would lash out because he couldn’t understand how Healy felt, or rather, what he didn’t feel and he would leave and he would take Holly and this newfound happiness with him.   
  
“I can’t,” he started, fiddling with the edge of the sheet.   
  
“You can’t…” March paused as though waiting for something more, but Healy had nothing else to offer.   
  
“I can explain,” he couldn’t.   
  
“You don’t have to,” Holland March was dead serious, there was no quip and no punchline and more than anything, in that moment, Healy wanted to kiss him.   
  
“It’s not a big deal, really,” something that Jackson had always told himself, but it did nothing to curb the self hatred.   
  
“We can get a workaround,” March added and then noticing the growing frown, “Hey, hey, really.” Holland March kissed Healy on the cheek and suddenly he was back, everything was okay. He was no longer drowning, at least not as fast. He could feel the water in him, sloshing around in his stomach almost like nerves, but he could hold it down for the moment, until he no longer had to, like bile.   
It felt good to be accepted, but it never lasted.   
Things like this show weakness, Jackson Healy could not have any weakness.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> one day I will not use a quote for the summary but today is not that day
> 
> I was originally gonna write fluff bc theres not enough fluff in this fandom (there's not enough fic in this fandom !!)
> 
> Was originally much more angsty and had about 1 million typos bc it was written at 4 in the morning after I finished watching the movie 2 times back-to-back


End file.
